I dunno How it sounds,but I know How it feels

To and From the Selfish Giant
With SOMETHING called love n hate,like n dislike,milds n goldflake lights,rain n moon, cigarettes and caffeine

You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I d'rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who m I to judge you
On what you say or do
I am only beginning to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty is too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Till we both break down and die
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I m just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty is too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Till we both break down and die
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

The raindrops did not talk to me

The raindrops did not talk to me.....
The rain drenched shimmering road did not look at me
The asymmetrical array of the yellow cabs did not wait for me
They all stood together and I stood in my frame.....alone

From the seventh floor the cityscape was different today,
very different than what it used to be in the last twenty five years
From the seventh floor the sky was different
very different than what it was a few minutes back
As I pan the vision is blurred
But still the vision does not talk to me

I have lost love midst a soul
I have gained love midst nothingness souls
I have been choked but I refuse to breathe,I refuse to set my liberation free
I have been hanged down the reverence shelf,I am shamelessly waiting for none at all

The puzzle is not a puzzle anymore
Its an ocean of confusion
Where my emotions do not converse
My feelings have lost articulation

I am longing for a past I do not remember
The expansion of grief is gnawing the heart
There is a tightness in the throat
I am wondering if I am lost in the loneliness of memories

I am living in a paradise whose owner is dead
I am not sure if this is the right address
Every night is a lonely musing
I do not know from where the mild tears come and where do they go....

And then suddenly I lose all my thought and....
start thinking again....what if?
But my leprechaun is sleeping
I can't wake him up
I will fight with them tomorrow
The raindrops did not talk to me.....

If I....

Would you still love me if insanity takes over me?
Would you still believe in me if I walked thru my convictions like I was a beggar?
Would you want to look into my eyes if I defied vision?
Would you recognize me if I disappeared in the mist of nothing?

If I walked through reality as if I was invisible…
If I turned neon into grey
Would you still love me if the naïve was dead and I was naked?
Would you still want to catch hold of me if I would float, and leave no trace behind?

Would you still recognize me if I am not black, white or grey?
Would you remember me if I was would never ever say
If I lost my voice, or my mind and my soul was only alive
Would you ever embrace me if my wings want to take a lusty flight?

If I spiraled through my hole into a fools paradise
If I crumbled under the red light on the high-rise
Would you still want to walk with me in the rains if the sky does not promise moonlight?
Would you still believe I can create if my negatives are bleached by the shimmer of the sky?

I am getting ready for the big funeral,
If I drill a tunnel in my heart, would you collect pieces of my mind?
Would you love me for all the incoherence and infinite pain I have caused
Would you take me to my grave if the blood freezes before time?