What happened to life?
It used to be fairly eventful, good events....like if I had to list them
1. Stress at work
2. Juggling multiple social engagements
3. Sneaking out of town for small holidays
4. Fighting with boyfriends
5. Trying to get a grip on what I am doing in life
6. Disagreements with parents
7. And still managing a few sms es and giggles with friends
In the last few years the grey has become too black, events are non events but they weigh a lot more.
The day before a shoot, I went with a friend on a recce. The Bandra Fort looked beautiful, it started raining, it felt like the good old Bombay rains in which you want to sing and dance. I was still basking in that glory when ego and its ugly head popped up. And that took an unexpected turn. I stuck my guns out and said hey you know what, I am done babysitting! I have resolved it as an adult but not as a person or as a friend.
It probably goes back when after years of struggle you let go of one thing that was dear, and then you think you can lose everything and life still goes on, you could be out of work, you could be out of money, you could be out of friends, you could be out of relationships, but you will still survive, become stronger and say, so whats next. (Maybe this part I got from Mommy)
I miss the fear, the pain.
Its just gets anxious when you read about other peoples stories which are made in jest.
It gets tiring when one simple statement made with simplicity is made to become a huge hole of nothingness or that one random conversation that leads to unseen stress!
What happened to life when all I wanted was a cottage and a cafe in the hills post my 40s?
Do I wait a decade more anticipating it will come, just a decade away?
It used to be fairly eventful, good events....like if I had to list them
1. Stress at work
2. Juggling multiple social engagements
3. Sneaking out of town for small holidays
4. Fighting with boyfriends
5. Trying to get a grip on what I am doing in life
6. Disagreements with parents
7. And still managing a few sms es and giggles with friends
In the last few years the grey has become too black, events are non events but they weigh a lot more.
The day before a shoot, I went with a friend on a recce. The Bandra Fort looked beautiful, it started raining, it felt like the good old Bombay rains in which you want to sing and dance. I was still basking in that glory when ego and its ugly head popped up. And that took an unexpected turn. I stuck my guns out and said hey you know what, I am done babysitting! I have resolved it as an adult but not as a person or as a friend.
It probably goes back when after years of struggle you let go of one thing that was dear, and then you think you can lose everything and life still goes on, you could be out of work, you could be out of money, you could be out of friends, you could be out of relationships, but you will still survive, become stronger and say, so whats next. (Maybe this part I got from Mommy)
I miss the fear, the pain.
Its just gets anxious when you read about other peoples stories which are made in jest.
It gets tiring when one simple statement made with simplicity is made to become a huge hole of nothingness or that one random conversation that leads to unseen stress!
What happened to life when all I wanted was a cottage and a cafe in the hills post my 40s?
Do I wait a decade more anticipating it will come, just a decade away?
