Another NeW DesTiNation

When I was getting my plans fixed for Hyderabad, Priyo Bondhu(Dear Friend)- the musical album from Anjan Datta, a well known Calcutta based singer, director and actor flashed across my mind. It said, “abar notun shahor, noton manush, noton jayega,…..majhe majhe nijeke khub sekorheen mone hoi” ( again yet another new city, new people, places….at times it feels I dun have roots)
But at the same time the bohemian, fleeting mind is always thirsty for it….the age old description that encompasses the deep feeling of conflicting considerations.
The arrival to Hyd was beautiful; the sun was setting across the Hussain Sagar Lake….parallels….the advent of the hidden pearl in my life. The calmness of the city and the historical whispers were interesting.
Anyways the challenges at work place seem to be coming through. I kind of like the energy of the office and the only goal is going back to Mumbai would be optimum self motivation. Going back to the field was equally good! People!!!!! Anyways I have to thank my colleague for the best south Indian lunch since the time I came back from B’s place. Met with this really really old neighbor. Years have flown in between but he still manages to irritate me as much. But the change of the worldview was a welcome change and I did let my confusions out for a while. And to my surprise sweetheart stories also saw the light of the night; I did not even know it existed!
Beyond the materialistic challenges the quirk conversation of life and afterlife was rather interesting that set me thinking, ‘what if the edge gives in and I fall into the deep blue sea?’ but the risk, love, lust, and excavating what is beyond the horizon, all of this appetite is the biggest drive….waiting to see how the future unfolds. And thus I hit the dance floor to let loose….

14TH Sept.2006
02:45 hrs.

Memoirs

Life is new, everyday, every moment. As the explorer in me is always in quest for variations on the other hand, often going back to the past gives me an inexplicable satisfaction. Today was weird, as if I relieved the two most special years of TISS in three hours. Meeting P was strange, maybe because I wanted to pick up the thorn as comfortably numb-‘ness’ has ceased to exist. But long live the intensity and the undying love for Passionate Trust. Some things never die.
Waiting at the linking road Barista for Soul-media-mate, she is to be here in a few minutes, and the wait seems suddenly never ending, dying to see her! What I adore about life is the pleasant bunch of surprises that it offers in the form of these few individuals. The conversation with Precious was so fulfilling last nite. I almost envisioned the butterfly spreading it wings to fly off the cocoon. And glimpses of my lil princess added to the completeness of life.
The quirk part of the story was passionate, ventilation of lot of pent up emotions and a firmer foothold established on the rock. Maybe I want to see the beginning of the day with you.

9TH Sept.2006
14:00 hrs.

Coming BACK to LifE!

Revival is something I have always enjoyed…..the end of one day and the night with the process of promise of the dawn….a new beginning.
Life has changed a lot….Kashmir made me grow up after comfortably numb became too uncomfortable for comfort. The place was just ecstatic….like I felt like the boundless boundaries that one could fly over..
About the mundane realities….got myself to earn bread and butter and then started missing the passion and dreams that I was to chase…..and now trying to recreate them and almost ready to take off.
Each frame is embedded in the mind….waiting the world to show the picture….of life that’s best described as random strokes on the bluegrey sky.
People who mean a lot are nearby yet far away and some has lost themselves in translation!
And with this grandeur of celebration where everyday is unfolding a new set of realities….I arise, awake, and shine…….

Sept 7th 2006

01:45 hrs

Up ThRE iN the SkY....

One of those mad days when I was running with the fast pace of the commercial capital of the country, trying to fit myself with the struggle for survival and by the end of it all it was the lackadaisical old Calcuttan who decided against the lifeline of Mumbai, the trains. I settled for a luxury of the auto. At one of the signals there are always kids selling something or begging…..and in their hands did I see the Indian tricolor only to realize that the Independence Day celebration was nearing. Sad how we have forgotten the national day of attaining freedom in the quest of liberating ourselves!
Anyways refused the usual ones, and then suddenly the glitter of the innocent eyes caught my attention. It added to say a lot more when I discovered the smile on this little ones face. At a distance oblivious of the difficulties and challenges of survival the little soul seemed a lost angel. Couldn’t resist the temptation, of a tête-à-tête with innocence. She came close. The soiled hands, the tattered clothes….external identity ceased to matter….i could have just been with this four year old lil girl for the smell of old me, untouched by crude reality till time stopped.
And then the sudden bustle of traffic made me realize how special those few moments were. A smile that jus restored the feeling of a beautiful life. I got a flag from her,priced rupees 5 only. And thought about the last 23 yrs of independence. Its worth every moment of celebration.
I am glad about who I am….of what I have and what I am gonna be.
Happy Independence Day.

13th August 2006
00.45 hrs

LifE-liNe

It’s been raining since morning, like one of those depressing days in the city that never stops. I woke up to remember the good old days of presidency college when chiro n myself would play mind games midst the torrential rains, it would rain so hard that the nearest vision would also be blurred. And now all of this seems such a distant past…..rush to work or else it’s an unpaid leave!
Had some other work in the the part of the city that’s called real Mumbai….Churchgate. I generally return by the Borivilli Fast but alas in the rush of time midst the swarming number of human faces jumped on to a Virar fast. Came back to work. Suddenly there was a rush of people from all around with the information of the series of cities in the city of Mumbai. Unnerved tried calling everyone I knew who travel by train. Couldn’t get through anyone who I knew was to travel by train…..could give anything to hear one word from them. Colleagues dropped me home. But someone screamed from inside….what did you do to save people’s lives….hundreds are dead, hundreds missing and you like million others will switch on the television for a breaking news? I still don’t know what was the guilt all about. All I know of is it was too overpowering for me to go all the way midst the chaos to Vile Parle. The road was blocked, hundreds of harrowed faces and the lost and diffident police force and flow of news with several versions. The woman nearby only said, ‘my son must have been dead, many have I just hope I find his body’. To tis I realized I had passed the way an hour before the tragedy happened….suddenly the otherwise not so important life seemed so precious. I had lost all courage and realized that its not so easy to just stand tall for all I know. I guess TISS had made me feel too much at home. The inadequacy of not having resources and the continuous ringing of the phone made me feel dizzy in the head…..unable to think thoughts and thus I returned back to the arms of familiarity. The night was terrible. The helplessness was killing….but proactive-ity was dead.
The dreams were familiar….the fall from the cliff, deep into the blue sea.
Indian Express-12th July 2006- Terror Tuesday.

July 13th 2006
00:48 hrs.

THTS ANOTHER STRANGER WHO SHARED GLANCES……will he walk away…or will he stay?

U suddenly find in a chilly night in a Mumbai pub one guy sipping on to wine…all to himself, absorbing moments with random thoughts crossing his head…he shared a special secret with another stranger. It was strange and special how just he made sense midst all the newness around. And before making way for me to vanish in the lonely streets of the cosmopolitan city he jus put a word of concern that was touching. Time passed by and met the stranger midst all the madness that life could offer. Often meeting a stranger is liberating, the anonymity is too dear to let go. And then there were sparks, of life, of randomness and eccentricity. In the wilderness of the staring truth of my country he made the best of luxury. And when I returned to begin from no man’s land meeting the different yet the known him was a pleasure! I probably was done with exploring the various interesting men in life…..no on second thoughts the random-ness in the grounded persona made it so attractive….have walked a considerable way….don’t know till when will I do that but ya it is a very unique experience of being around this quirk feeling of being loved….for being cared for who u are and who u want to be!

May 29th 2006
02:45 hrs.

In Neverland

Da Hitchikers drm was not finding the answer to Life,
the Universe and Everything.
It was...
to find a Friend with whom he could share a pan-galactic gargleblaster and
ponder the ultimate question...

March 30th 2006
11:36 hrs