Salt Pepper and Crowded Lanes

I am alone,but not alone enough
I am terribly lonely but loneliness doesn't befriend me
I don't understand the politics of relationships
And the relationship of convenience
The economics of care makes no sense
Neither the geography of silence
The history is too heavy to carry,but too hard to let go
Abused in every little ways,every day
I fool myself with a mind of my own

I am homeless
But cant turn and scream at the heartless dog
I am lying to myself and crushing something like respect they say
I am pretending every smile
I have nowhere to go, while an open world ticket lies on the desk
Nowhere do I have a shoulder to rest on
Coz I always am on the go
I am urban, educated, apparently independent woman
But I live in the anticipation of the darkest hour
Midst millions of faces
I often find teary eyes
And I am waiting for someone to trigger the gun

I am alone
But I am not alone enough